Rarely do I make brag posts, but with blowhards like this I'll make an exception. Besides, ol' Vlad is the vain type, so I'm sure he googles his own nickname daily. Vladdy, if you're readying this... tx for the chips!
Vladdymogul - Absolute Poker, is the epitome of those wanna be players who are just good enough to ruin a good table. He's LAG, which makes him dangerous heads up. With a good run of cards, he can put a serious hurt on your roll. However, he has two glaring weaknesses which I won't mention here, in case he is reading. I like taking his chips.
For anyone who has played him, they know that he's has a penchant for calling anyone who beats him in a pot a "dumb lucky fish" for starters and then progressively worse from there. I got him so tilted yesterday that he was even calling our avatar pics names. Stuff like "your baby is so ugly, I'd wipe my a$$ with his face." Now, that really doesn't bother me. My babies are both Gerber baby quality. (Love is blind. If you have kids, you really do think you're babies are the cutest ever born). Another player sat, nick KOPE, who is a very nice social player, and one of my biggest donators. Unfortunately his avatar is his (or her) baby's pic as well. After about 3 hands of listening to Vlad's BS about 'ugly baby', Kope leaves. There goes my ATM. Back to me and Blowhard Vlad.
I went about +100 on him pretty quick, and then he got hot and won most of it back. The typical lines: "where did your luck go fish?! I own you!"... the usual. All caps tossed in to let me know he was shouting at me.
After his cards cooled off, I went back to taking his chips. I'm in the middle of reading Your Best Poker Friend by Alan Schoonmaker. He includes a great discussion on putting your opponent on tilt. So I broke one of my cardinal rules of not responding to jackasses, and started needling Vladdy. No cussing, no ALL CAPS, just little zingers. I even sang to him a bit:
It's just a matter of time...
You'll lose your chips...
And whiiinnnneeee....
(Sung to the tune of that old country song - Two Sparrows in a Hurricane).
It had the desired effect. For the longest space ever, Vladdy didn't say a word. I finally asked him if his chat had been banned and got the "lets move up a level! I'll pwn you!" response.
Anyway, final session stats:
87 minutes. 257 hands. PSORG +138.50 (23.88 BB/hour. Average players 2.5, so yeah, it was almost exclusively a heads up match).
Vladdymogul -209.75
He paid me, he paid all the rake, and he paid a few other players who sat for a few hands here and there.
Vladdy, if you're reading this, I'd be happy to teach you 7 card stud. I'd even give you a discount. $80 bucks an hour. That's currently cheaper than the rate you paid yesterday. (23.88 BB/hour multiplied by the 2/4 limit = $95.52/hour)
Like two aces get'n cracked by fives...
all you ever do is cry...
With a head full of dreams but no skills, you'll lose everythiinnggg
Man, I gotta get this up on YouTube!
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